Thursday night I was calling for my other outdoor cat, Lizzie. She is an outdoor cat so when she's out overnight I have no worries. However, on the heels of having just lost Kitten, I was feeling more protective. I called for her more than usual. She did not come when called. I closed the door and locked it. I figured she would be back in the morning.
Morning came. I opened the door - no Lizzie. Again, I'm not concerned because she's an outdoor cat. I was expecting her to come home mid-morning when her tummy would be hungry. If there's one thing you can depend on is a hungry pet coming home to be fed.
I had to run some errands with a friend so I was gone for a few hours. When I pulled in and parked, I expected to see her in her usual spot - underneath the bushes near my patio. I called her name and instead of running out from under the bushes or the neighbor's yard, I heard a faint meow. I called her name and heard another faint meow. I asked my friend if she heard what I was hearing and she said no. I called for Lizzie again and heard another meow. That time my friend heard it.
Now it became a game of repeating Lizzie's name, hearing the meow and walking around the outside of my house, over to the back of the neighbor's property, my friend went through the front part of his property and then I hear, "Amy! I think Lizzie is in his shed!"
I looked and the shed was opened just a few inches wide. Neither one of us could figure out how she got in there. I separated the sliding doors and a cat shot out of the shed and stopped just a few feet from us. It wasn't Lizzie. If it wasn't Lizzie, who was it?
IT WAS KITTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The day she disappeared, 16 days ago, was the day he cut and trimmed his lawn. I figure she was over there sniffing around like she usually does then she got spooked by the mower. She probably ran and hid in the shed then got locked up in there with no way out. Even though my friend and I went walking through there a couple of times calling her name, she never meowed otherwise we would have found her.
Here's the thing:
I never felt like she died, only that she had disappeared. Through all the crying I did, I know God was trying to show me something. One of my core beliefs is this: God does not waste pain. He told me some things I need to change in order for the book to be written the way He wants it to be written. It's going to be a painful process but had I not cried the way I did over Kitten, I never would have known what He meant.
I cried over something that did not die.
To me, it was lost.
I did not know where it was.
it was as good as dead.
God is so good. She's lost weight, is eating fine and drinking water. She wants lots of love, she's sleeping soundly and has no desire to go outside. Good, because I'm not so sure I'm going to let her out anymore!!
P.S. Lizzie came home soon after Kitten was found.
