I've had many times when therapists have gone on vacation. I'm glad they get to have a break because dealing with mental illness is very draining. But that doesn't stop me from having feelings of sadness, abandonment and scared right before they leave. I usually write them a letter of whatever God has placed on my heart to give to them. It takes a few days after they've left to settle down.
Once I'm back into the routine, I feel more calm and less anxious. I pray for them without shaking and my addictions of overeating and such are not so hard to combat. I can sense the peace of God within me and I can sense how He wants me to pray for them each day they are away.
One time, one of my therapists gave me something to hold onto while she was on vacation. It was her lip balm. She said to keep it with me as a reminder that she loved me and she was coming back. Wouldn't you know I kept it with me all the time? I slept with it in my hand and I cried with it when I was missing her. It helped me more than you can know because I was at the early stage of discovering my dad had sexually abused me.
Since I had been on two mission trips, I wanted to give Faith something special to take with her but I knew it couldn't be a gift, like the perfect journal I had found at Barnes & Noble. I knew I couldn't write a personal letter to her, either. What could I do? I decided to sit in front of my laptop screen and let the Holy Spirit write the letter to her. That way, the words would be elegant and true.
I read it over and over again. I made sure there was nothing inappropriate and of course, there wasn't. All I had to do was fold it, tuck it into an envelope and give it to her. I thought it was going to be easy but there's always a glitch.
The next day I went in for my session. Near the end I brought up the envelope. I told her, "I didn't think it broke the rules," to which she replied, "I'll pray over it." Ugh. This is so messed up. I said, "Look, I prayed about what to write. Your name isn't in it, my name isn't in it, I didn't write this to you or anything like that. I just think it will be a source of encouragement while you're over there if you want something like that. That's all." She said to give it her so I did. On the outside of the envelope I asked her to wait to open it until she is on the airplane or in country.
I'm not going to share what was written right now. I'm going to ask Faith for her permission first. I can tell you that I've been using it as a prayer guide in the evenings when I pray for her. In the mornings I pray for her health, protection from harm, bonding with the team, a warm welcome as a social worker, ideas that are fresh for the communities they are serving and that her digestive system not have any problems while she is over there.
I know she'd appreciate you're prayers, too.
Thank you.
