About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Dream vs. Reality


I've heard of people being on the operating table.
They die and are in heaven
They see the bright light,
Some talk to God,
All of them come back to tell a story.

I wonder if some of those stories are true.

I don't know anyone personally who has met God.
Our church has never brought in anyone who's had that experience.
It makes me wonder if what they experienced was a dream.
A dream that felt so real it shook their beliefs to the core of their being.
It would mine.

If I wasn't already a Christian.

I think of this because there are times I wish I could have that experience.
I could fall into a deep sleep, one where my heart is faintly beating.
It's dark except for a light that is not too bright but is warm and inviting.
There is no shape of a Being.
I feel completely safe.

There's a man's voice, one with authority,
and with all the tenderness your heart can hold.
He speaks in another language.
You understand Him completely.
The shape of two men stand before you.

One of them reaches both arms out to you and draws you toward Him.
The other places a robe around you and a crown of jewels on your head.
The voice tells you, you have served the Kingdom of God well.
You lift up your eyes, your face drenched in tears.
You don't want to wake up.

Slowly your breathing returns to normal rhythms.
Your body starts shifting and rousing from sleep.
You can hear the sounds and smell the smells around you.
Your eyes begin to open and you're on your bed.
Did that really happen?

Or was it just a dream?