Today I watched several episodes of Hoarders. I am amazed. Not at the filth or the bugs or the stench. I'm amazed at how empty people's hearts are and how they long to be connected to someone.
Many of these people have barricaded themselves in their home. They've made their home so disgusting that no one would want to visit. Or they don't want to invite people for a visit. Either way, it's a very lonely and sad situation.
I tweeted this today: "I was reminded today that when we try to substitute "things" for "God's love," we'll never have enough things." Quite true.
In all honesty, aren't each of us hoarding something? It could be self-harm, eating disorders, addictions, too many pets, too many clothes, too many shoes, too many collections of things, etc.. I know I have at least three or four in the above list alone.
If I were to be completely honest, I would say my hoarding keeps me safe. It keeps people at arms length so they don't get too close. It keeps me safe inside my house where no one can find me or get to me. It puts me in complete control especially when I feel most out of control.
It was supposed to help me. But now...I'm not so sure.
Another topic for the therapist.
This episode is amazing:
Check Out Hoarders: Doug & Ruth on Hulu.
