About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

One Day At A Time

When I was first in recovery at the young age of fourteen, one of the first slogans I learned was "One day at a time."  I didn't understand how to live my life one day at a time even though I understood what the words meant.

That's because my days were packed way beyond one day.  They carried with them the previous days and weeks and years which blended into the future days and weeks and years.  The present day was seldom accounted for.  I was lost in so much of what I could not control that living one day at a time seemed like a cruel joke meant to be unattainable or just out of reach.

My Alateen sponsors were committed to teaching us what one day at a time looked like.  Then they broadened it to show us how to live one hour at a time, one minute at a time and sometimes, one decision at a time.  Before I knew it, I was slowing down my anxious reactive thoughts and applying what they were teaching.  I was becoming someone who was better able to calm down and not have such a negative outlook.

I wonder where she went?  I was in my teen years, graduated from High School before I graduated to Al-Anon.  Then three years later I found myself in my home church making a decision to give my heart and my life to Jesus.  Things should have gotten easier, right?  Ha!  Not exactly.

The first Bible I bought was The Living Bible because it was the same as my Mom's.  One day when I was reading in Matthew, I found this verse:

Matt 6:34 “So don’t be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time.

 When I saw, "Live one day at a time," I knew God was the author of recovery groups.  I knew I was going to be okay no matter what memories I had from my childhood, no matter how hard my recovery was going to be and no matter what others thought about me.  

 I knew if I was really going to heal I'd have to let those very painful memories surface.  I knew if they surfaced I'd be hospitalized.  I knew if I didn't let them out, I'd commit suicide.

 The phrase one day at a time saved my life.  

 It continues to save my life.

 I know if I hang onto the truths God has given me in His Word, through the Holy Spirit's guidance and through His people I'll be okay.

 I just have to hold on one minute at a time, then one hour at a time, then one day at a time.

 And everything will be alright.