This day, I've come to the conclusion that my existence is to be lived amongst the association of people already in my life.
My family, friends and small group. I need to limit my exposure to new people especially those who are eager to be my friend. Sandy could not handle my instability with mental illness, physical illness, grief over Aaron's death anniversary, she questioned and presumed my sexual preference and all the while used my gift of encouragement for her own benefit.
I made the mistake of believing she actually cared about me, my concerns and enjoyed my spiritual gifts of writing and encouragement as I did hers. I feel like apologizing for being a disruption to her sanity (based on what she said) but then again, had I been told all along, maybe this friendship could have been saved.
Maybe if I'd spoken up and was honest about more uncomfortable moments, maybe.....
But it makes no difference now.
I have a hobby making bark art. I finished hers last month with a cd (Extravagant Grace) to accompany it. I painted words from a song and polyurethaned it. I do this for many people. It's beautiful.
What was I going to do with it? I decided to make some changes and keep it for myself. Afterall, I needed reminding of the Holy Spirit's presence, too.
God reminded me that when a friendship ends it leaves room for a new beginning. Mine is a spiritual one with the Holy Spirit. What is yours?
