Specifically about the content.
More specifically about the depth of content.
So I stopped writing.
Not the best decision when you and the Holy Spirit have an encounter in the north woods of Wisconsin, on a serene and beautiful walking path, overlooking a large blue lake on a warm summer morning.
"Lord?" I ask. "What do you want me to do with my life?"
"Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are suffering."
I stood there.
Silent.
For a few minutes.
That was a few years ago.
I started writing the book a year ago. I was writing at a good pace. It was chronological, as detailed as I could be and I feel very good about it.
Then my medication crashed. For the last four months I've been dealing with depression and all other sorts of mental illness that are now correctly medicated. It's time to get back in gear.
I started tracking my blog stats and they've been steadily increasing. It's very humbling and a little exciting to see how many people visit my blog. I pray it's helpful.
When I got sick about four weeks ago and couldn't write much, naturally the visitors to my blog took a nose dive. What I didn't realize is how much I was relying on those numbers to keep me writing.
I lost my passion for storytelling. It became a ball and chain instead of a craft I truly enjoy. My mind was focused on my performance and not on the calling God had placed in my heart.
I talked to God about it a couple of days ago.
He spoke to me again.
"Amy, your job is to do the writing.
I'm responsible for the results."
Since then, I haven't checked the stats once. I've been able to write freely and I started organizing my book so I can brainstorm how to approach it this season.
Letting God into these decisions is so much easier than trying to figure them out on my own. He wants to help me, He wants to bless me and He doesn't want me to feel stressed out by it.
Equally, He wants me to do the work so I feel a sense of accomplishment. He wants me to pace myself so I don't over do it and He wants me to get help from others so I don't carry the burden by myself.
When I do the work, God will bless it.
