My parents divorced shortly after I turned fifteen. It was something I'd been advocating my Mom to do for at least a few years. When the time was right for her, she filed.
My Mom is my hero. She worked very hard, in all areas of her life, to keep us together. She was blessed with a good paying job and an employer who gave her the emotional support she needed to be able to take care of herself so she could take care of us.
My Dad, even though he lived just two blocks away, wasn't much help. He was caught up in his disease and we didn't want to be around it. There were too many fights and too much stress. It wasn't worth it and up until the time of his death, the difficulty remained.
Not long after they divorced, my Mom started writing Valentine letters to each of her daughters. The letters were changes our Mom saw us go through during the past year. Positive changes she wanted to remind us of - positive changes she wanted us to know mattered.
In my letters she talks a lot about my kindness toward my sisters, my family, my friends. She notes how much people trust me. She reminds me of our times together, how she feels I really listen to her and how much we laugh.
And then my Mom sprinkles in some wisdom about God. It's not something off the cuff but from her own experience. This year she wrote this:
"This Valentine's Day I want to share with you something that my counselor Sara told me long ago - "God loves you. You don't have to do anything. If you could only sit in a chair you would be valuable.""
I'm a performance based person. If I'm not performing at an A+ level, I'm a failure. No matter how much pain this causes, I don't change it.
Why? I'm not sure. For some reason, holding myself to a high standard has always been what I've done. It's probably the only thing I had control over and no one could take it away from me.
I know one day these Valentine Letters will stop. I'm thankful every year to add another one to my folder. When my Mom passes away and goes up to Heaven, I know I will see her again.
How do I know this?
Because Jesus is her one and only Valentine.
