The more I thought about it the more I wanted my car to make a statement about his death and I wanted that statement made at the funeral home. I bought window markers and wrote these messages all over my car:
My nephew wanted to spray paint art on a canvas so I took him to get what he needed. My nieces made posters with pictures of Aaron and of them together. My littlest niece drew pictures of she and Aaron. Everyone had their own way of expressing their grief. All of them were on display at the funeral home either on a tripod or on a table for visitors to see.
Before visitors began arriving, I went up to Aaron's casket. I was surprised to see the two pins (the angel and the cross), one on each lapel. I think it was his mom who came up to me and I said, "The pins - they're on his shirt." "Yeah, someone put those on him at the hospital so we decided to put them on him." I was quiet and said, "It was me. I gave them to him when I baptized him." She asked, "Oh, Amy, do you want those back?" I replied, "No, not at all. It's just a surprise to see them, that's all."
I realized the finality of saying good-bye to Aaron was coming up fast. Those pins were going to be cremated with him, mixed in his ashes and a part of his earthly body forever. I knew his soul was already in Heaven - that the Aaron I knew had been gone for many days. Still, seeing him in that casket, is still vivid in my memory. Lots of roses.
Aaron's funeral and wake had visitors from everywhere. It was like being at the hospital again with all the students waiting in line to see him in the ICCU. When his dad and my sister needed a break from the receiving line, myself and one of his uncles stepped in. Again, lots of students crying, needing hugs. We were overwhelmed by the number of people who were there. A little while later we were told 550+ people were there and lines were out the door.
When it was time for his eulogy, his favorite song, "Fireflies" by Owl City, played and you could hear the song being softly sung by almost everyone there. Someone recorded the eulogy and it's evident these kids loved Aaron.
Aaron's life touched many when he was alive. I'm not sure he knew that.
Maybe if he did he wouldn't have taken such a high risk as huffing.
But then again, who among us thinks we'll be missed as much as we really will.
I know I don't.
