The cave was wonderful and provided the perfect environment to work out triggers and identify the feeling of intimacy that I felt. Being physically (not sexually) close to someone is trust on roller skates. Sometimes I'm skating to the music and other times I fall to the ground. Today I learned falling is part of learning how to stand up and skate, even if I'm holding onto the wall.
At church this morning, our Senior Pastor gave a presentation about the direction we're heading in. Our time together included this Psalm. We were encouraged to use the quiet time for prayer, worship or any other way we wanted to connect to God. I felt led to personalize Psalm 1:1-3.
The NIV version: "Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither - whatever they do prospers."
My version: Dear God, I am blessed because I walk in your steps, I delight in you - your strength and your firm foundation. I think about you day and night! Help me Jesus, to keep you in front of what and how much I eat. The evil one delights in my stronghold. Let him be put to shame. I desire to be planted, learning to live fully in your streams of living water. May I bear fruit that is pleasing to Your eye and withstand the necessary pruning. May I turn to you instead when I want to wither away and die. All prosperity belongs to you! Love Amy
Being out of the cave brings me into relationship with others. Three of my favorite women were part of my morning. From each of them, I received affirmation and hugs. To each of them I gave my undivided attention and hugs. Relationships are where we give and receive.
My cave is a secret place where only God and I meet. For whatever reason, this form of isolation helps. But it's not for everyone.
