About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Migraine Headaches


I'm sitting in my living room, sipping a cup of decaf coffee, nursing a migraine. This not uncommon.  I've had migraines as far back as my early teens.  My doctor said to take Tylenol and the pain would go away.  He was right.  That remedy worked until they became too frequent and too painful.

What is a migraine?   Migraine Headache Information

My symptoms are:
*  Depression, food craving, irritability
*  Pin and needle sensations in arm or leg
*  Pain on one side or both sides of the head
*  Pain that has pulsating or throbbing quality
*  Sensitivity to light, sounds and sometimes smells
*  Nausea or vomiting
*  In bed for hours or days due to severity of pain
  
Sometimes, I can't relieve much of the pain.  If I can't get it calmed down with ice or a cool shower in the dark, I'm guaranteed to have nausea or vomit.  Like most people, I avoid the last one at all costs.

My next doctor tried the preventative migraine medications and all kinds of blood thinners.  When those didn't work I tried over the counter medications.  Those would work for the beginning of a migraine but if I couldn't catch it at the onset, it was just a matter of time.  Then I tried banging my head against the shower wall or taking a butter knife handle and bouncing it on the throbbing pain.  When I told my doctor this, she would prescribe a pain medication (Not to worry - I've never been addicted to pain medication and believe me, I've had many opportunities).  The problem is that we'd never know if it would work until I had a migraine.

Consequently, I had frequent visits to the emergency room.  I was given pain medications which took the pain away but I wanted to treat what was causing them.  Was there a trigger?  It wasn't until I was under the care of my current physician that I sought help from a neurologist.  She diagnosed it as chronic migraine headaches.  I followed a regimen - regular monthly visits to make medication changes and/or adjustments, track the migraines (when they would start, hormone related, stress related, etc.) and she gave me the right pain medication that kicked the migraine out in about 5-7 minutes.

She told me to make some changes in my diet, get more sleep, find fun stress relievers, and stop hitting my head against the shower wall.    

What are the migraines like today?
I wish I could say I'm completely free of them.  I'm not.  I have internal issues (like childhood physical abuse, serious car accident, etc.) that caused the vulnerability to my head, neck and spine and there are external factors (like the barometric pressure, bright lights)  I can't predict.  Neither of these did I nor do I have any control over.

What have I learned?
I've learned that even though I have chronic migraines I can use that time to talk to the Lord.  When my head is throbbing and I'm sweating and I can't get comfortable on the bed...when the ice pack is melting and my stomach is nauseous and I want a hammer to deaden the pain, that's when I start singing praise music.

I'm not belting out a chorus - I'm singing softly and slowly.  I picture Jesus. He's walking toward me with His arms stretched out.  I leap into His arms as a little girl.  As He's holding me and rocking me back and forth, He's smiling and calling out my name.  My adult Amy is watching this treasured moment unfold and while her body is trapped in pain, her spirit has been set free.  That's when I start singing....slowly.....softly...to my Savior...who watches over me.