About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Sunday, April 06, 2014

Who's Driving?


Trusting God and waiting on Him is a learning process.  Most of the time I fly along in life without a single care or doubt about the direction God and I are traveling.  I'm enjoying the passenger seat, buckled in nice and tight, taking in the scenery, shoes off and sunglasses on.

As He's driving along I'm noticing the details of the colors of the trees or the coolness of the air that's blowing through my open window.  I stick my arm out the window, cup my hand and do the up and down thing against the wind.  I feel the warmth of the sun through the sunroof and feel the carpet beneath my feet.

I can smell the clean mountain air as I breathe in deeply.  I close my eyes and imagine myself floating up into the puffy white clouds, bouncing from one to the other.  As I make my way back down I see a forest of cacti.  We're in the desert now - hot, dry and magnificent.

God is enjoying our time together.  His smile is wide as He looks at me with Fatherly love in His eyes.  He enjoys taking me places where I feel deeply connected to Him.  The southwest is that place.  Oh, how I miss it.  It's been several years since I've been there.

And yet God has given me deeply connected moments in my hometown when I feel close to Him.  The creation He made here is very different from the southwest.  But oh, does it fill my soul.

Lush green grass, loose gravel walking trails, very old and very large oak and maple trees, the waterway, huge boulders, some wildlife and fishing.  All of these things pull me closer to God because my spiritual pathway to God is creation.

Some mornings the clouds are formed like mountain ranges.  They are a deep gray/purple color with peaks.  Driving toward them feels like you're in the mountains of Eastern Arizona.  The site of them gives me goosebumps.

Yes, all of this is available everyday.  I may not take advantage of it in person.  There are times, like now, when I visit these places in my mind.  Visiting in person is so much better.

I must schedule a time and purchase my fishing license.