Most of it. I did not do PAP Smears. I ruled that I would never have one unless something was wrong and there was no alternative. That happened five years ago. I'd been bleeding for months. I tried to shrug it off but my sister is a Certified Physician Assistant - she didn't.
I made the appointment to see a Gynecologist. She said I had a polyp that needed to be removed and analyzed. Most likely it was benign but I needed to see another doctor.
Well, I won't get into that horrible experience. Let's just say I'd rather continue living with the bleeding than ever see that man again. Even the medical student was shocked.
Here's the thing. Before I went on disability, I was struggling with keeping my appearance neat and clean. I reduced the number of times I showered, I started washing my hair in the sink and I brushed my teeth in the morning only.
Once I was home permanently it got worse. I started having flashbacks of sexual abuse while in the bathroom getting ready to step into the shower. One time I sensed someone in the bathroom with me. Since then I don't shower very often. I use other methods to get clean. But then there are times I don't do anything for five months except wash my hair. That's winter time.
I'm usually depressed and not seeing people. Even if I was seeing people, I'd make sure my hair was clean so I wouldn't draw attention to myself. I dunno. Some days it's hard to get out of bed and give a crap about anything so why bother?
Now that it's summer I'm going to have to put myself into that shower more often. I decided to buy myself some new body wash that smells really good - kinda like buying a new pair of gym shoes so I'll start walking more. Whatever it takes to get me into that shower I'm going to have to do.
Heck, maybe some day I might be able to enjoy it like I once did.
