About This Blog

My blog shares my recovery journey from childhood abuse to living with mental illness. I've been involved in twelve step groups and therapy since 1982. I accepted Jesus as my Savior in 1988. To the best of my ability, I have followed where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Maybe you'll find the hope and strength you need through what I write. Maybe you want to stop hurting yourself. Maybe you have a friend who needs help and can benefit from my story. I was newly disabled when I asked God this question: "What do you want me to do with my life?" I closed my eyes and paused for a few moments to still my mind. This is what I sensed from Him: "Amy, I want you to write your story to bring hope and healing to those who are still suffering." And that's exactly what I am doing!

Thursday, April 03, 2014

Parkinson's? Hopefully Not

Some scary news from my psych.  The symptoms are definitely Parkinson's related.  He hopes it's due to lithium toxicity or other toxicity.  He reduced and eliminated some meds.  Now we wait and see.

The Parkinson's symptoms are exactly what you'd expect:

Parkinson's disease symptoms and signs may vary from person to person. Early signs may be mild and may go unnoticed. Symptoms often begin on one side of your body and usually remain worse on that side, even after symptoms begin to affect both sides.
Parkinson's signs and symptoms may include:
  • Tremor. Your tremor, or shaking, usually begins in a limb, often your hand or fingers. You may notice a back-and-forth rubbing of your thumb and forefinger known as a pill-rolling tremor. One characteristic of Parkinson's disease is a tremor of your hand when it is relaxed (at rest).
  • Slowed movement (bradykinesia). Over time, Parkinson's disease may reduce your ability to move and slow your movement, making simple tasks difficult and time-consuming. Your steps may become shorter when you walk, or you may find it difficult to get out of a chair. Also, you may drag your feet as you try to walk, making it difficult to move.
  • Rigid muscles. Muscle stiffness may occur in any part of your body. The stiff muscles can limit your range of motion and cause you pain.
  • Impaired posture and balance. Your posture may become stooped, or you may have balance problems as a result of Parkinson's disease.
  • Loss of automatic movements. In Parkinson's disease, you may have a decreased ability to perform unconscious movements, including blinking, smiling or swinging your arms when you walk. You may no longer gesture when talking.
  • Speech changes. You may have speech problems as a result of Parkinson's disease. You may speak softly, quickly, slur or hesitate before talking. Your speech may be more of a monotone rather than with the usual inflections. A speech-language pathologist may help improve your speech problems.
  • Writing changes. Writing may appear small and become difficult.
I have a lot of these.  It's not just me who notices.  I've had these for about two months.  It's gotten worse over time.  I'm staying positive by telling myself God is in control.  No matter what happens, I'll be okay.

His plan is the only one I want to follow.  If I shake for the rest of my life and my head moves from side to side then so be it.  It doesn't change who I am.  It doesn't change the fact that I'm writing my story.  It doesn't change that I love and am loved by my family.  It doesn't change the love for and from my friends.  It doesn't change the volunteering I'm doing at the library.  It doesn't change the love I have for my church.  It doesn't change the love I have for my kitties.

It doesn't change a thing.